Love is not enough reason to marry
Movie Review: The Wives Series
The Wives, produced by Elevation Church, is a solid and thought-provoking series. I love how the church is using media to highlight important issues, especially those that concern marriage.
The series sheds light on what actually goes on in marriages: trust, infidelity, communication, love languages, and the role of counselling. It holds a lot of promise, not just for married people, but especially for singles who are open to learning.
That said, I felt the series missed a few crucial topics — like how to identify the right spouse, how to build a godly home, and the role of God, self-love, and personal development in marriage. For a Christian-centred movie, it lacked depth in showing how God and prayer shape relationships.
Still, it’s a good series — and I’d like to share a few key takeaways from it.
⚠️ Spoiler alert: if you haven’t watched it yet, pause here and come back after.
1. Don’t marry just because you’ve checked all the boxes
Moni admitted she married Mathew because everything seemed “ready”: they were both financially stable, she had a solid career, and she was at the “right age.” On the surface, it made sense.
That hit me in two ways.
Some delay marriage because they want to hit certain milestones like a PhD or reaching a specific financial status. While I believe you should have some stability before marriage, I also think waiting to have it all figured out isn’t realistic. You might plan to buy a house by 27, but only afford it by 35. Does that mean you should postpone family life until then?
Also, I’ve noticed through mentors and role models that marriage brings favour, ease, and speed. What could take ten years alone might only take five in partnership. Truly, two are better than one.
But having “everything” isn’t enough. The real markers for marriage readiness aren’t physical. They’re invisible — character, values, maturity, emotional intelligence, commitment, and a relationship with God.
Marriage was designed by God to reflect His love for us. So if I’m choosing someone to marry, he must embody Christ in virtue, character, wisdom, and vision. Yes, career and money matter, but not more than these. If marriage mirrors God’s love, I want to feel it. Because if I get it wrong, it could even affect my devotion to God.
So, balance is key. Not too much focus on the material, and not too little.
2. Let the Holy Spirit work on your character before marriage
Character can either build or break a marriage.
If you bring bad habits into marriage, they’ll spill over and poison the union. This is why many marriage coaches strongly advise individuals to work on themselves before starting a family.
Character is the foundation for everything — friendships, career, and especially marriage. And the one Person who can transform your character is the Holy Spirit.
“When He comes, He will convict the world concerning sin and righteousness and judgment.” — John 16:8
This verse underscores the Holy Spirit’s role in revealing our shortcomings and guiding us toward repentance. The fruit of the Spirit serves as an excellent measure of our godliness.
Are you showing love and tolerance to others, even when it’s difficult? Are you becoming more patient and forgiving? While the work of the Holy Spirit continues throughout our lives, you should begin to notice changes and align yourself with His guidance.
Many characters in the movie desperately needed that inner work. And maybe you do too.
3. Avoid compromising situations with the opposite sex
We often think we’re strong enough to resist temptation. We’re not!
Mathew and Dinma were vulnerable, each longing for what was lacking in their respective marriages. Instead of avoiding those vulnerable situations, they engaged with them, leading to perilous outcomes.
The enemy never shows you the consequences, just the pleasure, the moment, the thrill.
Marriage doesn’t make you blind. You’ll still find people attractive. You’re not a tree. But what stops you from acting on it is your virtue, your character, and your devotion to God.
Remember Joseph? He said, “How can I do this great evil and sin against God?” He feared betraying God more than his boss. That’s what keeps you in check.
James says God never gives us a temptation we can’t handle. So, when it comes, your reaction is on you.
4. Have a spiritual authority over your relationship
I once heard Pastor Kingsley Okonkwo say every serious relationship should be under the authority of a spiritual mentor. I couldn’t agree more.
This could be a pastor or a Spirit-filled mentor — but there must be someone God can use to speak into your life when you hit storms.
In The Wives, some of the marriages survived only because they had spiritual shepherds guiding them. Without that covering, things would have fallen apart faster.
5. Understand your partner’s communication style
This series taught me what “love languages” really mean.
Moni and Mathew struggled because they didn’t understand each other’s love language. Some people crave acts of service more than physical touch. Others want gifts over quality time. The key is to learn your partner’s language.
I recently read a devotional on this, and it was deep. I strongly recommend it.
6. Set boundaries between work and marriage
Can your career ambitions destroy your marriage? Yes, if you let them.
I saw a post on LinkedIn from a successful woman I admire. Despite her ambition, she sets non-negotiable boundaries to protect her marriage — and both are thriving.
Read it for yourself: Codie Sanchez’s LinkedIn Post
7. Don’t hide things from your spouse
I’m not married, but I can confidently say that no one appreciates being kept in the dark, especially by their spouse.
Even if your intentions are good, hiding things from your spouse is wrong. Surprises are okay — temporary secrets, but deception isn’t.
However, hiding something important from someone you love is simply wrong. I can’t emphasize this enough: it’s just wrong.
Say the truth, even when it’s uncomfortable. Lies destroy trust. And truth always wins.
8. Surround yourself with marriages that model healthy relationships.
I worry for Moni’s assistant. She’s in a relationship, but all the marriages around her are in shambles. That’s dangerous.
You absorb what you’re around — even subconsciously. If the models around you are unhealthy, you’re likely to replicate that.
Find godly role models. Listen to sound teachings. Read solid books. And stay close to friends whose marriages inspire you.
9. Have godly friends
“Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers.” — 2 Cor. 6:14
Who are your friends? Can God use them to advise you on relationships? Can they be trusted with your emotion and your decisions?
If the answer is no, then stop turning to them for advice on something as serious as marriage. One bad word from an unguided friend can wreck your whole home.
If your circle lacks spiritually grounded friends, raise one. Because one day, they might shape a major decision in your life.
10. Don’t marry for emotions
Emotions are good, but they’re also fickle. You might be drawn to someone’s charisma or looks. But those things fade.
Love that’s not rooted in something deeper, like God’s word, won’t last.
You need a word from God. Something solid. Because storms will come. And when they do, it’s the word you received that will keep you standing — not butterflies in your stomach.
Desire a marriage built on conviction, not just chemistry. A marriage grounded in Christ, not just feelings. Because love built on God lasts.
If this blessed you, please share it with at least five people. Let’s spread God’s truth and keep the conversation going.
What lessons stood out to you in The Wives? Drop your thoughts in the comments. I’d love to hear from you!
Thank you for reading. God bless you!
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