I almost became a side chick
On Entanglement
Feelings can really put you in trouble — serious trouble. That unexpected attraction that draws you to someone, you shouldn’t “physically, “spiritually” or “emotionally” be entangled with.
Being smitten by someone is an experience that I believe everyone over the age of 16 can relate to. I place emphasis on infatuation because I don’t think I can call this emotion love.
When you are infatuated, you can’t help but think about the other person all the time, laugh out loud at every interaction, crave physical contact constantly, and wish they were by your side all the time.
This is what infatuation has the power to do to a person. It leaves one feeling ecstatic and with cravings that, spiritually speaking, cannot be gratified. Oh, it MUST not to be gratified.
The battle of the flesh is a serious war and must be fought with the arsenals of the spirit. Dare I tell my story of how I was ready to be someone’s side chick because of how deeply I was infatuated with him.
My friendship with Damola began innocently as students who enjoyed playing vicariously after school. We did everything together because we were in the same class, including going home, eating, and attending events.
Everyone around us had started pairing us up, but I was always quick to shut it down. I didn’t like it because it was insentive to his girlfriend who also in the same school.
Overtime, I realize I had started developing feelings for Damola. I then became very conscious around him. I was conscious of how I spoke, dressed, even the way I smiled. I liked him so much.
I hated myself for falling for a guy who was my friend and most especially because he had a girlfriend who I liked as a sister. I was infuriated and disgusted in myself.
Damola himself had also begun to feel affection for me, which only made me feel worse. It had developed into a shared affection that we both endorsed. However, we decided to pretend ignorance while continuing to be emotionally entangled.
He became someone very important very quickly, not like he never was, but this was different. He evolved into someone I wanted to share the best and worst parts of my day with, as well as to cry on his shoulders.
A small part me desired him so much. I wanted him to be my boyfriend.In my mind, we got married and went on a globe tour with our lovely twin boy and girl.
The fact that he told me he liked me and practically proved it by being extra cordial was not helping the situation. I entertained it- I knew it was sinful to entertain those un-innocent compliments and gwakings. I knew better.
You see, the sin of the flesh will cause you to excuse your actions. I kept justifying my feelings. When I refused to give in, I took two steps forward, but when I gave in I went five steps backward. It was an intense battle.
As a child of God, I knew I couldn’t carry on in this manner because it was sinful. I began to talk with God about it. What I couldn’t battle with my flesh had to be fought with my spirit.
I didn’t know if God answered prayers like that, but I prayed nonetheless because it had become a burden. God had to take away my burden. I had had enough!
I grew progressively less interested in him. God had begun easing me into my rest. I was amazed that something as trivial as my feelings for a guy mattered gravely to God.
My lack of interest eventually drew Damola’s attention. He was unable to say a word because we both decided to start out in ignorance. Not to mention the fact that he had a girlfriend who I thought of as my sister.
I overcame the feeling in no time. God helped me discipline myself and not embarass my faith.
Why this story
I am aware that there are others like me who struggle to control or get over their powerful feelings for the other sex.
To feel such depth for someone is awful. I have seen how far such depth can take people. This is why we hear stories of “it was the devil” after a sexual escapade or momentarily pleasure.
It’s a common misconception that you haven’t committed sin until you’ve had sex with someone.
That is untrue!
Just having an undignified thought is considered sexual immorality. God frowns at the thought of it as much as he frowns at the act of it.
Damola and I shared the same religion, but our convictions were different. I knew in my heart that we weren’t spiritually compatible.
It was uncharacteristic of me to feel that way about him given that he also had a girlfriend. Don’t get me wrong; emotions are good; God made them so that we may express our feelings.
But such feelings should be rejected if they induce you to want and desire, or perhaps act inappropriately. Such profundity and fervor belong to God.
Since that time, I have prayed frequently about my emotions. I don’t want to linger in my mind immoral thoughts longer than they should. These prayers are like a conversation with God. The chats are wonderful.
So, dear sir’s and ma’s, you can take your feelings to God, you will be amazed how he will show up.
Share in the comment section how you overcame being a side chick or just any feeling that wasn’t godly.
*name and event altered for privacy.
For this is the will of God, that you be sanctified [separated and set apart from sin]: that you abstain and back away from sexual immorality; that each of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor [being available for God’s purpose and separated from things profane], not [to be used] in lustful passion, like the Gentiles who do not know God and are ignorant of His will; and that [in this matter of sexual misconduct] no man shall transgress and defraud his brother because the Lord is the avenger in all these things, just as we have told you before and solemnly warned you.
For God has not called us to impurity, but to holiness [to be dedicated, and set apart by behavior that pleases Him, whether in public or in private].
So whoever rejects and disregards this is not [merely] rejecting man but the God who gives His Holy Spirit to you [to dwell in you and empower you to overcome temptation].
1 Thessalonians 4:3-8 AMP
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