First of all, Esther, I commend you for sharing your experience. I'm sure writing this wasn't easy.

I can relate to your story, because it's very similar to mine.

I call it high-performance Christianity. In my case, I got exhausted; I was doing a lot. I was someone my peers looked up to.

I gave up one day and simply only attended church services.

It wasn't until 2019, the Holy Spirit brought to my consciousness that, all those times, I had been serving God in my own energy and flesh. I was so passionate and zealous, but little did I partner with the Holy Spirit in doing those things.

Also, I didn't learn to rest (this doesn't mean taking a break). I was listening to DDK and she said, 'a lot of christains attend events 7 days a week without allowing their spirit to ruminate on what they have been received, and also allow their bodies to rest'

I'm currently writing an article around the topic of rest. When it comes out, please read it (you can subscribe to my Medium mailing list) There is a lot that will love to say here, but i'm limited by space.

I'm happy for you and I pray for grace to keep serving till our Saviour's return.

Amen!