21ST CENTURY FIRST-CLASS GRADUATE
An after grad story
Tobiloba Adelaja exposes us to his life years after graduating top of his class.
The great life of a first-class Nigerian graduate isn’t as great as the society paints it to be. Everything na hustle
Follow the crazy life of this young man as he opens you to the hidden myths and truths of being a Nigerian graduate.
Things are about to go down.
EPISODE 1
THE ALMIGHTY FORMULA
A lot of you must have heard this countless times without a number “Go to school, get good grades and you will secure a good job”. This is cliché to me. [I was being modest, it’s a preposterous belief. I tell you, this na scam!]
Whoever created the formula that “going to school + getting a high degree certificate + securing a good job equalled a great life” that person must have been high on weed. Because I solved it the same way, and guess what, the great life isn’t as great as you think (although I’m not so great at math, this is a basic 2 +2 and yet I keep getting numbers that aren’t 4).
This reminds me of the Almighty formula. I specifically hated math because of it, every mathematical solution traced back to this formula. My math teacher never really helped matters. Mr Adeyemi- my big-head math teacher (his head was really big, I bet he stored all the mathematical formulas in there) would always walk into class and the first thing he would do was to write the formula on the board and in Thor’s voice he would enunciate the words ‘The Almighty Formula’.
I hated it so bad, I still do. Give it a few years from now, this formula will become a myth. Not the Almighty Formula, cause that one has been existing since the days of my ancestors but the ‘great life formula’, this one is slowly diminishing.
This is the real world, the 21st-century world, where no one gives a crap about who you work for [actually I take that back, if I was working as the personal assistant of Donald Trump or Paul Pilzer or Jeff Benzo, a lot of people will care.] What I mean to say is, this is the 21st century, where graduating top of your class is nothing but added value.
It doesn’t always guarantee half the life of Elon Musk, Mark Zuckerberg. This is without stating the obvious (the not so obvious is that, they were high school dropouts). A few of you may already know this, but no actually one cares. Their entire Wikipedia page is full of their many inventions, contributions to society, awards and multi-billion dollars net worth. Who cares about your certificate when you’re on the Forbes list- NO ONE!
Now, young kids if by accident you fall upon this, please don’t drop out of school, education is key to success and I know you want to make your parents proud, so please don’t be like uncle Zuckerberg and drop out (I’m on my knees begging). I won’t be responsible for any child’s decision. This story is therefore rated 18.
Now that we have covered the legal part of my story, it’s only proper that you put a name on this wonderful genius. My names are Tobiloba Adelaja and I’m a 21st century ‘Nigerian’ unemployed graduate with crazy life. The “Nigerian” had to be added because a white kid graduating from Stanford University doesn’t need to worry about employment (most of them). Many of them have been working even while in school but for us Nigerian kids, who-dash-monkey-banana.
School or no school we still all scavenge in the labour market for a decent and well-paying job. The opportunity to work mostly comes in the 3rd/4th year when we go for Industrial Training (I.T), even that one na hustle.
A friend of mine spent the six months he should have been working looking for I.T placement. He had to forsake the next semester just because the system is rigid (a story for another episode). All I’m saying is that we Nigerian youth face a serious issue when it comes to finding a lucrative job in the economy, this is irrespective of your degree.
The competition for Multinational companies like Shell, Mobile, KPMG, and MTN is on the high. No Nigerian graduate after spending 4/5 years dealing with absurd rules and ‘God when’ lecturers will choose to settle for a job where the pay is competing with the minimum wage.
In the voice of my guy “no be for this life wey I go chop peanut”. I’m pretty sure I know what the adults will say “start small and come out big”. That one is in the days of ‘aye ati jor” Starting small doesn’t mean one should settle for the government’s scarp or the corruption of many of these big private firms.
Let’s face it, too many graduates are emerging every year, this is as against the early '50s when there weren’t so many people going to school much less graduating and with this increasing marginally scale, there is bound to be surplus demand because of the few organizations we have in Nigeria.
With my basic knowledge of economics, this is simply higher demand (Nigerian graduates) chasing fewer goods (jobs). At the moment, the unemployment rate is screaming 33% in the faces of NYSC/ final year students, at least those who don’t have connections in the upper chamber of the industry.
Not to worry, we have enough time to dive into the economics of unemployment in another episode. But the fact remains formula or no formula ‘“no be for this life wey I go chop peanut”.
Now, let me introduce you to the crazy part of my life.
If you loved this you will love my article for recent graduates
Episode 1 and 2 was moved here for those with smaller screens who cannot read them.
